I don't know sometimes. The blog is currently private for a couple reasons. Namely the freshman is getting crazy and her bitchy friend is causing that scenario to explode so, speaking from experience, the last thing I want to start is to leave myself open to some sort of BS attack from someone whose mad/upset so. Until I find a better way, that's happening.
Starting to feel allergies and maybe a little sick. We'll see.
Day 31. I feel better over everything I talk about yesterday. Not better in the "I don't care" type of way, but in the "acceptance" type of way. It still hurts, and I'm still very much missing and mourning the loss of a very good friend. But there's nothing else I can do. I've done literally everything in my power, and I'm going to continue doing so, but I stand to gain nothing if I just worry myself sick over it and lose sleep over all of that. I'm not perfect, and I have my flaws, and that's all I CAN focus on. I can't control other people, and it sucks, but hopefully somehow things will go my way eventually.
I'd like a little to talk about Raven, for just tonight.
The thing is, and, as ironic as it may seem. I only knew her for half a year, and was only around her for a month at a time. But, we clicked really well from the day we met. And one of the big obstacles I was facing when I met her was a deathly fear of losing people because I thought I would never again meet new people I could consider friends or even remotely like. And I think just meeting her as I did, out of nowhere on a completely chance encounter, helped me out of that. Especially because we did click so well right off the bat. She's a really fun person to be around, and it's kind of funny because I always thought she was this interesting blend of punk, country, and geek. Her friends and boyfriend are very much punk, from the music they listen to, to what they do, and how they act, and she's adopted some of that. But she also grew up as a country girl with a supreme affinity for geek things, and she managed to blend all three together into this really interesting blend. She's really easy to talk and.. Yeah. I'm going to miss her. A lot.
Alright alright, that's enough of that. Let's not make me go backwards shall we? Quite.
In other news, sometimes I find that doing the "right" thing involves a level of selflessness that I've yet to attain. I've tried to have as much patience as I could regarding somethings, and took hits wherever I can, but I eventually just break. I'm proud that I've gained that level of patience, don't get me wrong. But I guess now I need to find the right time and places to excercise it, because sometimes it just allows me to be walked over and treated like shit, and it hurts sometimes. But C'est La Vie. One learning experience after another.
I told off Sarah today, because my patience ran short and I'd basically spent the past two plus weeks taking hits and being hurt and just letting it go past me in hopes of it being the best thing for other people. But I got tired of being hurt repeatedly so I drew a line and put an end to it. We'll see how that turns out but I was thouroughly done with it.
As always, my friends are awesome :D
[31/31 Days Running Without Alcohol/Smoking/Etc]
[22/31 Days Going to the Gym]
[31/31 Days Running Taking My Meds]
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