[11/7] Entry 46

So. My wallet was lost last night. 

And that was the feather that buttfucked the fuck out of the camel’s back. I legitimately broke down bawling, repeatedly, after discovering the fact that not only was it indeed not in my possession, the only chance I might have had, however slim it might have been, of finding it, was hours away and was depending on someone having found it and turned it in to lost and found. On a bus. 

To say that the fact I had lost my wallet, which had my ID, Social Security, all my debit cards, and a number of other things, was stressful, was an understatement of epic proportions. I was already stressed out beyond belief and the thought that I’d be royally fucked and completely broke for a week and would probably have to quit my job was. A lot. Was hard to wrap my head around, it wasn’t fun to deal with and I hit every end of every string ever.

I bawled hard and for quite a while. Everything just hit and ended and exploded. Alex, one of my roommates, is going back to mexico after this semester because he’s discovering the fact that he’s in an alien environment where just doesn’t feel comfortable or stable enough. We’ve tried to make him feel welcome but he still feels out of place at a very different place and world where he doesn’t even speak the language natively. He feels like he’s just unstable here and needs to go back to stabilize his mind and grades and I can completely understand that. Because if I don’t stabilize in like six months, I’m going to have to quit… Is what I would like to say. But I have nowhere to go and nothing to do if I DO quit, so I have to stick with it and fight the uphill battle. Which, I mean has been the story of my life up unitl this point, which is why I’m hoping I’ll be fine as I move forwards, it’s just got to be things that I take a day at a time right now. if I do anything else, I Might be heading down a dark route.

At any rate, I found my wallet. It was miraculously turned into lost and found on the bus and I was able to pick it up today. Everything’s here. I was elated, and almost passed out from the wave of relaxation and destress that washed over me. I just wanted to sleep xD

So thats it. more adventures in the life of me failing quite spectacularly xD

-Over and Out