[11/13] Entry 49: Pt. 2

Work was interesting today. Spent all day working on one bug and then found out that the reason I couldn’t find it at all in the file I was looking for it in, is because the code I was looking for was removed. Again. Because why would it be there? It seems like that’s par for the course for the majority of bugs I’ve encountered so far. A bug yesterday was because someone decided to delete the information from the DB and didn’t tell anyone nor ever gave a reason for it. 

Before that there was a piece of code missing that nobody could even tell was supposed to be there if it wasn’t for the original architect of the code having gone in and saw that part of it was just flat out missing without any indicator that it should have ever been there. Yay!

I have to adapt the old fix to the new code now, which shouldn’t be too bad, just an unnecessary hassle that would be avoided if there were some standards. Or if i knew the Focus system, which I don’t. Not yet anyways. Work in general is a special monster, I don’t even know how I feel about it. The valid answer is that essentially I don’t, or maybe I do. Not sure. 

I love Sarah so much, it’s silly how much I do but I enjoy talking to her and being around her so much that I can’t help but feel happier whenever she texts me in the middle of work. 

I’m always exhausted now. Always tired to my very limits and stressed out of my skull. I’ve gotten better at keeping the lid on it but even being where I am is fairly troublesome. It honestly needs to change. Something. Anything. Needs to change. I don’t know what but god damn it this cycle of stress and bullshit and tears needs to stop, somehow. 

I’m counting the days but I’m doubtful of my ability to make it at this point. I have some 16-19 days left of this and yes I’m counting each of them because it may not seem like very many, but each one is taking so much out of me.

I have no idea what I’m doing, or going to do, about my classes, and the stuff I still have to do. The math states I have, on average, about 6-9 hours free during the week. So does that mean I need to get everything done during the weekend? If I work through the weekend, I’ll break, I know I will. So what should I do?

I wish I knew.

-over and out.